For many, they enjoy having a build up towards more intense sexual activity. This is commonly known as foreplay, but it is important to note that what people consider foreplay versus sex can be incredibly different! For some, foreplay can involve chatting or texting. It can be flirting, or going on a date, or anything that doesn’t involve the bedroom. For others, foreplay can be kissing, a massage, or manually stimulating their partner’s genitals. Depending on what kind of activities people prefer, who they enjoy sexual activity with, and how they define sexual satisfaction, foreplay will vary wildly for each person and each relationship.

On the same tip, how people define sex can also vary wildly! Sexual intercourse is definitively not only penis in vagina sex, which is a cis-heteronormative way to view sexual activity. It also reduces people’s pleasure to be centered only around the genitalia. There’s a whole body and mind of a person to stimulate! Each person has a variety of senses to stimulate as well! If a person wants to use a vibrator or a thrusting sex toy or a masturbation sleeve on their partner, they can include that in their personal definition of sex. It would be a disservice to limit how we define foreplay and sex.

How can you know what your partner might consider foreplay? What about what they consider sex? Ask them! In fact, asking them can be a sensual activity that can be foreplay in and of itself. Do they enjoy being tantalised and teased? Do they enjoy being in control or would they want someone else to plan the evening’s events? Going through the variety of categories on Johny’s site can definitely be another way to raise arousal levels and engage in foreplay, whether it is done together or separately to surprise. Happy Browsing!